Australians Against Flatuphobia

A reply to my singles ad

2006-11-03T11:40:00.000+11:00

I posted my profile on RSVP.com.au a few days ago and finally got an email from someone. In my profile I said the person 'mustn't mind a bit of wind' and in the email the person asked what that meant. I've emailed him back and said I have chronic flatulence. The person probably wont reply and will think I'm a prankster. I'll have to develop a site called 'Windy Gale Singles' where people with my condition can meet other singles.

Romance and flatulence

2006-10-31T11:33:00.000+11:00

Its time again for another meeting tonight at the Montrose town hall. Tonight I think I'll make one of the topics 'romance and flatulence' and talk about how people with a flatulence condition can meet the partner of there dreams. I think one of the most necessary things is to tell a potential partner as soon as possible about your condition. It is better to find out sooner rather than later that your potential partner cannot handle your condition. Another tip is to go on a date to a restaurant with loudish music so that it can mask any fart sounds. A movie is a no no as murphies law is that you will let one off during a silent part of the film and everyone in the cinema will hear causing your potential partner embarrassment.

Good Meal

2006-10-30T11:39:00.000+11:00

I had a good weekend and caught up with friends and wasn't given red bean chilli con carne like last weekend. We went to a restaurant and was able to choose the meal. Thankfully I had no gassy episodes at the restaurant so I was grateful.

I have put my profile on RSVP.com.au but havent had any interest yet. Most of the pictures on RSVP.com.au have woman with a sultry look on there face while my photo looks more like a passport photo. I will have to play around with photoshop and make myself look like Cameron Diaz or a young Bianca Jagger.

Centrovert

2006-10-27T13:02:00.000+10:00

I spent a bit of time writing my profile on rsvp.com.au. I looked at a few ladies profiles and most are 'outgoing', 'fun loving', 'extroverted'. I'm neither introverted or extroverted so I'll have to make my own word. Perhaps centroverted? My profile could become 'centrogoing', 'centroverted'. I think describing my condition I might use 'Wind loving' as it sounds better than 'Fart Friendly'. I am wondering what sort of people would ring me up if any? Hopefully I find someone nice and as Borat would say 'have sexy time'.

Getting a date

2006-10-26T12:58:00.000+10:00

Its been a while since I've had a date mainly because of my condition which has made me less confident romantically. I was thinking of putting my profile on RSVP.com.au and see how it goes. I'll have to atleast hint at my condition in my profile as any potential suitor could get a surprise if I dont tell them. Many obese women on dating websites use the term 'cuddly' so I might have to do something similiar. Maybe I'll use the phrase 'I am looking for a person who doesn't mind gas.'. About 6 years ago when we first put AAF on the web there was a lot of american guys who sent emails about their fart fetishes. Maybe if get desperate I could go through those old emails and see if any of them are still interested :).

Rain Today

2006-10-25T11:37:00.000+10:00

Today was one of the first days in a few weeks that its been raining in Melbourne. I felt like saying 'whats this liquid pouring from the sky?'. I'll have to get out my digital camera and film the rare event. I am working right now at the Montrose tennis clube and usually if its raining people don't play. They are today. Probably because of the novelty.

Last nights meeting

2006-10-24T11:22:00.000+10:00

Last night we had our meeting at the Montrose town hall. We talked for a short while about the core values of Australians Against Flatuphobia but moved onto another topics. A new person came to our meeting last night. Unfortunately new people often come for a laugh and don't take the organisation seriously. I think the new guy was one of those. During the meeting there was a smirk on his face and actually burst out laughing when Julian discussed her progress with her battle with chronic flatulence. Hopefully he's just a one timer and we wont see him next week. Otherwise we might have to mention a $100 joining fee even though there is no joining fee :)

Australians Against Flatuphobia Roots

2006-10-23T11:54:00.000+10:00

Another meeting tomorrow at the Montrose town hall so I am again thinking of the things we will discuss at the meeting. I sometimes feel our organisation is losing site of its original aim which is to stop flatuphobia. Our aim has always been to reduce the stigma of flatulence so that people such as myself are able to work in any environment without being ridiculed. We have been trying to acheive this goal by letting people know about the suffering caused by flatuphobia. Examples are of people such as Julian and Kate, both of whom have had there lives turned upside down after contracting chronic flatulence. It is our hope that one day all flatuphobic people will see the error of there ways and will let flatulence sufferers to lead normal lives.

Chilli Con Carne Capers

2006-10-22T13:27:00.000+10:00

I visited some friends last night for dinner. I told my friends that some foods, especially beans can give me a lot of trouble in the gas department but unfortunately they must have forgotten and they had made some red bean chilli concarne. My face went red and I tried dropping some hints like 'Gee, I'm really going to pay for this tonight.' My friends didn't take the hint and given the amount of trouble one of my friends went to in preparing the chilli I couldn't bring myself not to eat it. When I got home and went to bed I paid dearly for my courtesy and must have farted half the night. I'm glad Ive got smoke alarms otherwise if spark had of gone of my house would have gone up in flames.

Gas the landlord

2006-10-21T11:25:00.000+10:00

Yesterday my landlord knocked on my door to ask for his TV back that I wasnt using. When I came back with the TV he was inside my place looking round. He is getting a bit familiar so I think I'll have to move soon. If he gets too familar I'll have to start walking into his place when Im just about to have a flatulent episode and stink his place out. He lives next door and this hasnt been a problem until recently. Rents are getting higher so I think he doesnt care if he gets a new higher paying, gas free tenant.

Flatuent Episode

2006-10-20T11:20:00.000+10:00

With my problem of chronic flatulence I suddenly get a burst of flatulence that can last up to a minute. This can happen a couple of times a day so it is a major source of anxiety when I am in a public place as I never know when an episode will hit. It is difficult to avoid public places as I need to buy food from a supermarket, go to the bank and go to the post office like everyone else. Today was not good as I went to the post office and was struck with an episode. The post office had a lot of old people and they all turned up there nose in disgust and walked out when my episode began. I think what annoyed them most was the smell as it was fouler than usual. But old people are better than young teenage males who tend to be the cruelest and thankfully there were none in the post office so thank god for small mercies :)

North Korea

2006-10-19T11:23:00.000+10:00

A thing that is worrying me is North Korea. I have always thought that North Korean acted like a naughty school child wanting attention but recently it is more like a unhinged bully who has a unrealistic view of his own strength. Three scenarios that could unfold in North Korea are:

1. North Korea lashes out and there is a full scale war
2. North Korea goes back into its shell and things stay as they are
3. North Koreans overthrow Kim and continue with the communist state or they become a democracy.

Ive always thought number 2. was the most likely scenario but I think number 1. becoming more likely.

Meeting

2006-10-18T12:00:00.000+10:00

Yesterday we had our weekly meeting at the Montrose town hall. There was about 10 of us this week. We talked about the large number of flatulent videos on youtube and google video and discussed whether this was a good or bad thing. On one hand it promotes the mockery of people afflicted with chronic flatulence but we believe it is better that people are amused by flatulence as opposed to being offended by it.

We also talked about Julians terrible flatulence problem and how recently she is improving. She says its down to her new found acceptance of her flatulent condition. She said that part of her problem was that the more she fought her condition the more depressed she became. Now, because of her new found acceptance, she can let off without batting an eyelid.

Dream

2006-10-17T11:12:00.000+10:00

I had a strange dream about about a snake last night. Anyone know what it means?

I had bought something from ebay and what came out of the box was this snake that was sort of coated in something like it had hatched (this was not an important part of the dream) and it turned out to be this taipan type snake that started moving around my parents kitchen like those snake charmer type snakes ie upright. I went away to get something to kill it and chose a little broom with wood at the end with an idea to stamp down on its head an kill it. After returning I couldnt kill it. It kept getting away. My dog (pet dog from childhood) was sitting on the mat and the taipan went near my dog (who didnt take much interest in the snake though this wasnt important part of the dream) but didn't do anything. After a while after giving up trying to kill the snake I sat down on the steps leading up to to the top floor of my parents house and the snake came towards me and I let the snake rest on me. Then I awoke.

Witches

2006-10-16T11:50:00.000+10:00

I sometimes wonder, if I was born 500 years ago in Europe whether I would have been considered a witch given my gassy condition. They may have thought it was the work of the devil. 60,000 women were set on fire during the middle ages which is a lot of people given the population of Europe was one tenth of what it is now. I was looking at an interesting Russian site called Inquisition art (http://www.inquisition.pp.ru/) and it had quite a lot of wood cuttings of women being set on fire by clergy. Heres an example:

Would be nice if religious people could behave themselves as little better :)

Photos of Montrose Tennis club and hall

2006-10-15T16:11:00.000+10:00

This is where I work at the Montrose Tennis club.

As you can see theres a few trees around.

I took a photo of the Montrose town hall where we have our meetings every Tuesday. I should take some photo's while we're having a meeting but some of a members mightnt be happy.

Its awkward taking pictures like these because it looks suspicious when people take pictures of drab buildings. So I took them as quick as I could.

Flatulent Videos

2006-10-14T14:45:00.000+10:00

Hello. Today is Saturday so no work today. Today I'll probably look at what we'll talk about in the coming AAF meeting on Tuesday. Something that we've noticed is that on Google videos and Youtube there is quite a few videos in the top 100 that are of people lighting farts. For example.

At the AAF we dont mind humourous portrayals of flatulence as its better for flatulence to be seen as humourous as opposed to offensive. One of the funniest videos we've seen is of the farting preacher. Its of a preacher who makes a lot of facial expressions as though he's farting and someone has added a fart track to the video on queue with his facial expressions. I wonder if the preacher minds being in these videos. He's probably happy that he gets so much exposure.

Charcoal Tablets

2006-10-13T11:14:00.000+10:00

Recently I've been experimenting with making my own charcoal tablets since I go through so many. The problem is that its hard to get rid of the burnt wood taste and it gives me nausea. I think I'll go back to the commercial brands. Charcoal tablets do help a bit but not enough that I can walk down the street without letting one fly. Maybe I should talk to someone as CSIRO and convince them to research into a better charcoal tablet :). I can be their guinea pig.

Modesty prevails

2006-10-12T11:13:00.000+10:00

Its feels like its around 30oc today and I wish I could sit around in my undies. But modesty prevails. I wouldnt want some elderly lady walking in and getting the shock of her life. Or worse yet she may see it as an invitation to strip off aswell. Her friends might come in and see her half naked and they see it as an invitation to to strip off aswell setting off a chain reaction that goes out of control. I dont want to see the whole of Montrose full of old ladies walking around in there undies. So I'll stay modest.

Nice weather

2006-10-11T10:52:00.000+10:00

Today is a nice warm day. It is a spring day with air conditioner temperature ( around 20oc) and the sun is out. There are probably only about 10 of these sort of days a year so I should spend as much time outside as I can. In the summer days when it is sunny its usually over 30oc. The hottest I've ever seen it in Melbourne is 40oc. Luckily I was near the beach when it was 40oc so I could spend it in the water. Something I love about the beach is that I can swim around without worrying about people hearing my gassy episodes.

Montrose

2006-10-10T11:19:00.000+10:00

As I mentioned I work as an administrator for the Montrose Tennis Club. My day involves processing new members, checking game timetables and answering phone calls. I don't get paid much but the good thing is that the job is relaxing and also the other admins in the club are very understanding of my condition.

As some of you may know Montrose is very nice area at the foot hills of Mount Dandenong. It is very green and forested and close to a national park so its not as suburban as other areas nearby. I will have to get out my digital camera and take some photographs of the area and you can see for yourself.

Another good thing about Montrose is that it is close to some nice bush tracks that lead all around Mount Dandenong. It is not crowded at all, which is surprising given how close it is Melbourne. Recently there seems to be a lot more native animals in there. A few years ago I saw my first koala in the Mt Dandenong State forest. When I told people this no one believed me until someone I knew saw one for himself. I will post some nice photographs of Mt Dandenong forest aswell and if I am lucky enough to come across a koala I'll post that aswell.

Be seeing you!

AAF

2006-10-09T19:03:00.001+10:00

Hello, I am the president of Australians Against Flatuphobia. Its been running since 1999 and we have had a stable number of members for the past few years (12 people). I have seen many blogs around and thought I should start my own.

Something I should say about myself is that I have chronic flatulence. This disease has effected my life in many ways and is the main reason I started the AAF. About 8 years ago I had a good job as a university lecturer. Many of my students were able to control themselves during my flatulence episodes but many were cruel and I couldnt take the cruelty any more. A few years later I luckily found a great job as a tennis club administrator for Montrose tennis club.

Regarding the AAF we still has meetings every week at the Montrose town hall and we have a group of 12 who have been regulars over the past few years. With all the worries about terrorism etc, worrying about flatulence has been a much lower priority than it used to be which is why we haven't been pushing as hard to get more people involved.

I'll post more blogs over time and please leave a comment so I know people are reading.